My wife, Janet, was everything you’d ever want in a wife, until she got into politics.They say that power corrupts. Well, Janet was a case study. She hopped on the slippery slope and never got off. I was in on her bust. She got witness protection. I got a divorce.After that, I vowed that I would never have anything to do with the treacherous creatures.Then I stumbled on Mavis. In truth, I nearly ran her over. It was certainly NOT your classic boy-meets-girl situation. I was driving through the Nicolet Forest in the middle of the night. The setting was eerily similar to my present state-of-affairs. Except it was only raining hard, not the Apocalypse.Mavis thought the year was 1946. So, naturally I took her to have her head examined. The local Doc certified that her belfry was totally bat-free, and she DID seem to know things that would make the local historical society jealous. Plus, she dressed and acted the part. Of course, there was no way her story made sense.That is, until I. The grass hula skirt she wore went down just above her knees, so when she moved her thighs would emerge out showing how well toned they were. She wore a black thong that hid her nether region. But it could be seen appearing atop her ass cheeks when her skirt moved and exposed them.Her skin was a natural golden brown. When she approached me her smile defined her facial features of high cheeks, a small pear shaped nose and full lips. She greeted me, Aloha Ahaiha (Good Evening). I replied Nohe Wahine (Lovely, Lady) She said Ah you know Hawaiian! Yes I replied stationed at Schofield. Oh, soldier man, Mahalo nui loa (Thank you very much) for your service.I replied with ‘A’ ole pilikia (You’re Welcome.) She replied, how might I serve you today?I ordered a Hawaiian pinna colada, which is served within a coconut with slices of pineapple rings around the rim.She brought it to me, saying lamapa’ipa’I niu inu (Cocktail Coconut Drink) for you.I watched as she moved away her hips swaying.
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